Written by Michael Handford
Mike is a member of our All-Wales Cancer Community and was kind enough to share his thoughts below on how thinking differently about his cancer helped him to process the news of a stage four diagnosis. At Tenovus Cancer Care we are learning from Mike's experience to help us understand how we can help those affected by cancer to find their voice and speak out.
“You’ll win this battle Mike, you’re a fighter!’ How many times did I hear these well-intended words after my stage-4 throat-cancer diagnosis back in 2011. Occasionally, somebody might offer the gentler metaphor of cancer as a journey. But how about you, is cancer a battle, or a journey? For many people, these are the two options for understanding cancer. Much of the language around cancer – from newspapers to oncologists to friends – uses the metaphor of CANCER AS A BATTLE. This pitches the cancer as an enemy, separate from the patient, something to be defeated. But for many of us, this doesn’t fit. For me, the cancer was part of my body. My body had created it. Yes it had grown insanely and secretively until it threatened my existence, but like a wayward child to her parent, I couldn’t see myself fighting it.
Seeing CANCER AS A JOURNEY is an alternative for many people. Unlike the BATTLE metaphor with its underlying feeling of conflict, the JOURNEY metaphor carries a sense of togetherness with the cancer. But for me, I found it a bit generic, after all, everything from adolescence to emigration can be called a journey. So, aged 42, I was faced with the horror of a diagnosis and given a 20% chance of surviving. I had two small children and a loving, incredibly supportive wife, a job I loved (Professor of Communication Studies), and many friends. In other words, like so many cancer patients, I had a lot to live for. But the diagnosis threw me into a state of chaos, that upside-down feeling so many of us experience.
I knew I had to make sense of this situation to gradually, unevenly, move away from the chaos. As I’ve said though, neither the BATTLE nor the JOURNEY metaphor rang true for me. From my day-job, probably the most profound thing I’ve learned is that language not only reflects the way we see and engage with the world. Language actually shapes the way we understand and interact with the world. This is one reason why many people dislike the CANCER AS BATTLE metaphor. It ends up pitching you in a fight, and that can be a fight with yourself.
As I’ve mentioned, I teach at a university. It can be a wonderful job, as you get to spend a lot of time helping students learn. Even when they don’t want to! So I decided to create my own cancer metaphor based around this. I’d realised, from this idea that language shapes the world, I could choose how I wanted my cancer reality to be shaped. This didn’t mean I could wish the cancer away! What I mean is, I could decide what kind of relationship I could have with the cancer. And I hit upon the idea of seeing my cancer as AN UNRULY CLASSROOM.
Photo: ChatGPT’s image of me at the beginning of the class.
‘What’s this?!’ I hear you say. Well, I figured that my cancer was a) part of me, b) a part of me that wasn’t behaving as I wished, and c) tricking my immune system. I also knew that my immune system needed to up its game if I was to remain alive. So I decided to see my cancer as AN UNRULY CLASSROOM, with me the teacher trying to encourage the classroom to do well. This involved health as well as teaching. For example, a good diet and exercise are important for many students. I exercised when I could, and ate as healthily as I could. But it also involved conversations in my head, for instance when the chemotherapy or radiation was particularly arduous and I wanted to stop. I cajoled the class, saying things like ‘Look, this pain is worth it for the future, so best to buckle down.’ Communicating with this CLASSROOM opened avenues out of the chaos.
Photo: Me exercising after the chemotherapy had finished and before the radiation began.
The CLASSROOM metaphor did not cure me of cancer. Sadly no metaphor can do that. But it did give me a greater sense of agency, of control over my behaviour, than other metaphors. This is because it chimed very much with my personal experience. As my wife reminds me, being a teacher is about the only thing I can do with any success. So it made perfect sense for me to create a metaphor around this. I hope this helps others create their own metaphor. I’ve been cancer-free for fourteen years now, so I guess my classroom is a model class now.
Photo: The radiation caused havoc with my mouth, so here is me forcing the soup down with a bendy straw, for the kids in class.
As an aside, I thought I was unique in making an original metaphor. But there is lots of research on this, for instance you could have a look at Lancaster University’s Making your Cancer Metaphor materials here.
