I know you’re feeling scared and upset, but please know you did absolutely nothing wrong and this isn’t your fault. You must not blame yourself.
Life is going to be pretty awful for a while, but I promise you’re going to be okay. Your body will never the same again, bey hey that’s okay.
You can grieve for that old, ache-free body with symmetrical boobs whilst also being proud of your battered new body – surgery scars, radiotherapy tattoos and all. Wear them with pride. That body will get you through the worst year of your life, so try and be kind to it.
The chemotherapy is brutal and you’re going to lose your hair. All of it. It’s Okay to hate looking in the mirror sometimes. But it will grow back, and quickly too. You will get so excited about the tiniest millimetres of regrowth. And you’re actually going to miss those days when you didn’t have to shave your legs every week!
You’re going to have some really, really hard days, there’s no point sugarcoating it. There will be days when you cry before an appointment, cry after an appointment, and then cry because you’ve cried so much.
There will be days when you’re angry, frustrated, exhausted and fed up. You don't always have to be strong. You can be scared. You can be angry. You can have a crappy day and you can feel sorry for yourself. Do whatever it is you need to do to get you through those days.
You're going to meet some incredible people along the way too, and some will help you more than they'll ever know. Let them. You don't have to do this on your own.
Most importantly, you’re going to feel so proud of yourself. You’re going to look back at everything you’ve been through and genuinely wonder how you did it. You’ll look at the person you’ve become through all of this, and you’ll realise just how much you’ve changed. You’ll know what you’re capable of in a way you never have before, and that’s something you’ll carry with you for the rest of your life. And I am so, so proud of you.
Vicky Green
September 2026
